Yes, I’m Still Alive (and I’m looking for Beta Readers for my next novel!)

Hoo boy, where do I even start?

It has been five years (ouch!) since I posted anything on this blog, though not from lack of trying. I think my most recent draft dates to 2022, which is still two years old, but hey, that’s better than five. Anyways, as you can probably imagine, a lot has happened in my life since I wrote about how good the City of Ember film is, so here is a very brief rundown. In the past five years, I have:

  • Taken about a year and a half of college classes (don’t have a degree, though)
  • Got a job at Kroger in the middle of the pandemic doing curbside pickup (which I have since quit)
  • Met, dated, and married my husband (we met at said Kroger)
  • Opened a used bookstore in my hometown, at which I now work full time (supported by my husband; we have yet to turn a profit lol)
  • Been on TV talking about said store (twice)
  • Gotten pregnant (which I am still; we are expecting in mid June)
  • Drafted and edited significant portions of a steampunk adventure novel with my husband (which is the novel referred to in the title of this post)

So I hope that gives you a decent rundown of what I’ve been up to!

On to what we’re here today to discuss: my next novel! Or perhaps I should say my first real novel, since the other books I’ve published have technically all been novellas or even shorter, but I digress. This new book is a New Adult steampunk adventure novel, the first in a planned trilogy, entitled The Heart of Resistance. I am cowriting this series with my husband David, but we are planning to publish under a single pen name: A. D. Griffey. We have been working on this project for several years now, and are currently in the revision stage, smoothing out some bumps in the latest draft before we send the story off to a copy editor and beta readers for feedback.

And that’s where you come in! We are looking for 10 or so individuals to read and give feedback on an edited draft of The Heart of Resistance. Take a look through the blurb below, and if you’re interested, please fill out our beta reader questionnaire! We would love to have your assistance in this exciting new project.

Arthur Pendington, former captain of the Imperial Airship Formidible, is out for revenge against the Empire that made him a murderer.

With nothing but his wits, a rag-tag crew, and an ill-gotten airship, Arthur plans to destroy the remaining Imperial Dreadnoughts: weapons of terror that rain destruction on the Empire’s enemies and civilians alike. Losing them would cripple the Empire’s military might, but against such menacing machines of war, this one-man rebellionthe product of either madness or obsessionis all but a hopeless endeavor. Nevertheless, Arthur means to see his plans through to the bitter end, even if he destroys himself and the few friends he has left.

Arthur’s quest for vengeance pulls an ex-rebel engineer, a runaway workhouse orphan, and the princess of a rival kingdom into his orbit, and puts everyone in his path in danger from all sides. Though the Empire he contends against is corrupt to the core, his own motives and methods are far from heroic. Arthur unknowingly entangles himself and his crew in a web of danger, intrigue, rebellion, and international politics, which will change himself, his friends, and the course of entire nations.

I think that this is unironically the best project I have ever yet worked on, and I cannot wait to share it with you. If you would like to be among the first to read the story, please fill out a beta reader questionnaire! The reading period will begin in early May, so the sooner the better ^_^

Forgotten Films: City of Ember

City of Ember

It is a rare thing for a movie based on a book to be ‘acceptable’, much less ‘good’. But, to me anyway, City of Ember is one of those movies.

Based on the young adult novel of (almost) the same name, City of Ember is a masterclass in making a world come to life on film. The design of the sets, costumes, and props are a joy to look at, and do most of the leg work when it comes to the world-building in this film—no lengthy expository dialogue required. While the movie does not mirror the story of the book exactly, there are wonderful little shots and moments here and there that seem to have leapt directly from the pages of The City of Ember and into real life. In a time when films are filled with buckets of CGI, the amount of loving care and attention to detail in this 2008 movie is wonderfully refreshing.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Just what is this movie even about, and why have I broken my months’ long unofficial hiatus to talk about it?

It seems that somewhere along the way, I have forgotten about the true joys of reading and watching films—of experiencing stories—and also forgotten all the wonderful stories I used to love. In an endeavor to return to those stories and rediscover what I loved about them, I’ve been working my way through some of the stacks of novels with twelve-year-old protagonists that I used to devour as a child. Honestly, I think I relate more to these precocious kids than to any dour and moody teenage anti-hero of today’s YA stories. Though Lina and Doon, the protagonists of The City of Ember, have been aged up a bit in the film, it works decently well, and there’s not even a hint of dumb forced romance, thank goodness. But anyway, I love The City of Ember and (two) of its sequels, and I love the film, so I decided to revisit them. And I have some Thoughts.

City of Ember takes place in the titular city, a dying beacon of hope that is the ‘only light in a dark world’. Beyond the reaches of the city’s electric lamps, the darkness goes on forever in all directions; or at least, no one’s ever found an end to it. Confined in their city without movable lights, the citizens of Ember have been content to live as they’ve always lived for the past two hundred years. But now, everything is breaking down. The ancient generator is dying, and nobody knows how to fix it. The storerooms are running out of canned food and clothing and light bulbs.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the film does a stunning job at bringing the crumbling city of Ember to life. The school and the houses and various shops and buildings really feel as if they’ve been used and inhabited for two hundred years. Everything has a patched, faded, reused look to it, but unlike the severely color-graded, washed out films we often see today, every object’s true colors are allowed to shine through; the electric lights fill the city with a warm yellow glow during the day, Lina’s red cape is worn and faded but still beautiful, the dirty orange jumpsuits of the Pipeworks laborers stands out in their gray surroundings. I feel like if this film had been made today, it would have had the life color-graded out of it. Ember is still full of life and light, even as it is beginning to fade and die out.

The costumes of the main characters all have delightful little details that give them a handmade, hand-me-down look: Lina’s colorful sweaters all have hand stitching around the neckline, as do Doon’s shirts, as if they’ve been passed down and modified for a new wearer. Lina’s red messenger cape seems to have lost its original ties, and now laces up the sides with twine in two different patterns. With a myriad little details like these, Ember is solidly established as a place with limited resources, which has been recycling its clothing and broken down washing machines and brittle old pipes for years in order to keep going. I really don’t think that you see this level of care and character in the set designs, costume designs, and prop designs many modern, even high budget, movies.

Let’s talk for a minute about a specific prop design and how it is used in the film to subtly flesh out the world. In the book, there is no sort of movable light source whatsoever, but in the movie, several characters use headlamps throughout the story. However, whenever the headlamps are in use, we are either shown a character plugging the headlamp’s chord into a socket, or shown the lamp already plugged in. Without a single line of dialogue, this little detail helps to establish the rules of the world; all the electricity comes from the generator, and in order to access it you must have a cord. So the citizens of Ember don’t have any way to explore the outer darkness beyond the extent of their fixed floodlights and the reach of the cords on their headlamps. This fact is never verbally explained in dialogue, but if you’re paying attention to the film there’s no way you’re going to walk away wondering “why couldn’t they just use a flashlight or something to explore beyond the edges of the city?” That is some exemplary world-building that more modern films should take note of.

Of course, City of Ember is far from perfect. A lot of the character development in the book was sacrificed in order to fit the whole plot into a 90 minute movie, which means we miss out on Doon’s arc of discovering how destructive his anger and frustration can be, and Lina’s wrestling with some of her more selfish impulses. These two main characters have also been flattened out a bit; in the book Lina is a more imaginative and dreamy character, who also has a lot of common sense, while Doon is very intellectual and matter of fact, but tends to be idealistic and prone to anger when things don’t go his way. In the film, Lina is bright and chipper, and loves working as a messenger. Doon is just serious most of the time, and sometimes frustrated. And that’s about the extent of their personalities. This doesn’t ruin the film, obviously, but the characters tend to be much more two dimensional than they were in the book, and the film focuses more heavily on the plot and world-building than it does on the characters themselves.

If you have never read The City of Ember, I would highly recommend it. The story is laced with Christian themes and beautiful character development, which is simple on the surface, but gives you a lot of food for thought. One of the things I love about the book is that, besides the central mystery of “how do we save or escape from Ember?”, the questions raised in the story aren’t so cut and dried: what do you do when the powers that be are clearly corrupt and couldn’t care less what happens to the people under them, or when your friend is stealing food and supplies that ‘no one will miss’? There are no easy answers to these sorts of questions, and The City of Ember never pretends that there is. The film touches on some of these ideas, but its true strength is in making the world of Ember strikingly alive, giving you  a window into the citizens’ lives as if Ember was a real place, providing a lovely experience where all the little details mesh together into a living, breathing whole.

From what I could tell by looking around online a bit, this film was considered pretty mediocre when it came out. And no, it’s not a wonder of cinema by any means. Plenty of films have better dialogue, better character development, more and better CGI. But City of Ember has a heart to it, a magic spark that lights the whole film like a light bulb. I couldn’t find any behind-the-scenes info on the film, but I think somebody must have cared a whole lot about bringing this story and these characters and their world to life. And that’s the sort of spirit we could use a little more of in this age of technically brilliant—but soulless—blockbuster films.


Final Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

“The only light in world of grayed out color-grades.”


Thanks for reading my little review of this Forgotten Film! Have you read The City of Ember or watched the movie? Got any favorite forgotten films? I’d love to chat in the comments below!

See you again soon.

🙂

Movie Review: Captain Marvel

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Marvel’s feminist flick is a decent, but deeply flawed, film.


Like many, I was rather apprehensive about this particular Marvel film. Captain Marvel is Marvel’s first female-lead superhero movie, and from the trailers and media coverage, it looked like it might be shaping up to be a rather heavy-handed feminist film. But while the female empowerment message is definitely there, I thought it was rather well done, and the film also focuses on a theme of compassion, so it’s not the only message in the movie. However, while I enjoyed Captain Marvel, it’s definitely not a perfect film, and some of its flaws make an otherwise fun and quirky movie feel rather… unsatisfying.

But first, here’s what I liked about the film. The plot in general was very good, with a really surprising twist that didn’t see coming. Captain Marvel is set in the 90s, before pretty much all of the other Marvel films, and the way it retroactively set up and connected a bunch of the earlier movies, the first Avengers movie especially, was extremely well done. The acting and characterization were also good, and Brie Larson’s Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, is just the right mix of spunky and stoic. You get the sense that she’s just a regular person, with layer of strength and power underneath. (I know a lot of people have criticized her performance, calling it ‘wooden’ and unemotional, but I really never noticed that while I was watching the movie.) Goose, the cat, was adorable, and absolutely epic (I won’t spoil it for you, but epic is definitely the right word), and the visual effects, while good in all Marvel films, seemed especially stunning in this one. The visualizations for Captain Marvel’s powers specifically, whether she was soaring through the atmosphere or firing bolts of photon energy at the baddies, were incredible to see.

Unfortunately, the movie is certainly not perfect. It really lacks internal conflict, and therefore emotional punch, leaving the film fun but ultimately unsatisfying. Carol has no character arc and no internal conflict; whatever she wants to do she just does without two thoughts about it, seemingly at the whim of the plot. The big plot twist, which I won’t spoil, is great and surprising, but it felt so flat when Carol just… immediately went along with things, even though they turned out to be the opposite of what she’d been told her whole life.  And I’m not just talking about the choices she makes in the film. Her powers, too, seemingly have no limit. Even the device implanted in her neck by the Kree aliens to control her power, if they see fit, doesn’t really stop her. It’s introduced in the beginning of the film, isn’t brought up again until the very end, and then she almost immediately destroys it without any consequences and becomes even more powerful.

One of the reasons I like Marvel films so much is that the characters are always so conflicted and human. Their powers aren’t magical cure-alls with no limits; they’re always limited, or they take a toll on the character, or the character must balance their powers with other aspects of their lives. Captain Marvel seems to have none of these things. There is literally a montage near the end of the film which shows Carol getting back up from all the times she’s been knocked down in her life; a kid who crashed her bike, a tween who crashed her go-kart, a pilot-in-training who failed a difficult training exercise in front of other recruits. In every scene, she gets back up without a problem. There is never a moment of struggle. There is never a moment of doubt. She always gets back up instantly, with no cost to herself, no change that allows her to attack the problem from a new angle. She can do whatever she wants.

I’m not sure entirely if this issue is caused by the fact that this is an openly feminist film, which has set out to empower women to chase their dreams, but that could certainly be one of the underlying issues. It’s an important and admirable message, of course, but the film falls flat in that it never shows Carol struggling. If you chase your dreams, you will struggle. There will be naysayers or actual problems and obstacles in your way that you will have difficulty overcoming. But the film’s “You can do anything!” message glosses over these struggles, to the point where it’s no longer empowering because Carol Danvers is not a real human; she’s a superhero who cannot lose, no matter what.

I don’t think that a story has to be ‘relateable’ to be good, and in fact I am very against that view. But, in my opinion, the best superhero movies are those that feature a protagonist with real struggles, whether those struggles are trying to hold to your ideals in the midst of a super-powered war, or juggling homework and a social life with your crime fighting escapades. Captain Marvel has nothing like this, and while the movie is fun and beautiful to look at in places, it ultimately lacks depth and substance, and fails to really say… anything.


Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

“An okay film, but not good by Marvel standards.”


Hey, thanks for reading my (rather late) review of Captain Marvel! What did you think of the film? Did you think that Brie Larson’s performance was ‘wooden’, like so many people say it is? I’m actually really curious! I didn’t think anything like that when I was watching the film… Let’s chat in the comments below!

See you again soon.

🙂

Looking Back and Looking Forward (My 2018 Recap and 2019 Goals)

Oh, wait, what? It’s a whole new year.

Which means it’s time to look back at all the goals I set (and forgot about) at the beginning of 2018, and set some shiny new goals for 2019. Here goes nothing…

2019 goals


2018 Goal Recap:

  • Publish Esmeralda’s StoryApparently 2018 was so long that I completely forgot this novelette even existed by the end of it, but you can purchase a Kindle copy of Empty Little Heart: Esmeralda’s Story on Amazon! That’s one goal to strike of my list, at least.
  • Write and revise at least one book: Yeah… this didn’t work out. I did do little bits of work here and there on some of my background projects (and also came up with about a hundred other project ideas, some of which would involve massive amounts of work. Yay!) but I never got even close to finishing one of my many first drafts. :/
  • Get my driver’s licence: This… actually happened. It still doesn’t seem real that I’m legally allowed to just go out and drive a car around by myself, but it happened.
  • Read more: This is kind of a vague goal, but I did ramp up my 2017 Goodreads Challenge Goal of 60 books, which I completed, to 70 books for 2018. Unfortunately, I only ended up reading 67 books out of those 70, so I don’t think I can really give myself full credit for this one.
  • Make more artistic stuff: Another really vague goal which I can’t really measure. I posted only one piece of artwork to Instagram this year, but that’s not really a good reflection of the amount of art I’ve done, since I almost never post pictures of my artwork. I did branch out into soap- and candle-making near the end of the year, which I guess could kind of count as ‘artistic stuff’? But I definitely wasn’t creating as consistently as I would like.
  • Embrace my emo side: I kind of randomly threw this ‘goal’ in for laughs, and then never actually did anything to realize it, besides occasionally wearing my assortment of chokers, my silver cross necklace, and enormous dangly chain earrings, and acquiring one or two new pieces of black clothing for my wardrobe. I dyed my hair at the beginning of 2018, and it hasn’t been redone since, and however much I dream of getting a fancy purple ombre, I’m really not sure when (or if) that’s going to happen.
  • Procrastinate less: This once again unmeasurable goal ended up completely backfiring, and I think I spent more of 2018 procrastinating than doing anything else. If you read my post Vicious Cycles, you’ll know all about the cycle of laziness and always taking the easy way out that I was stuck in. The new year seems to have cleared the air, at least a little bit, and I’m hoping that maybe I can power through it and create new habits of mindfulness and actually doing things before the cycle sets in again.
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise: Like most of my goals in 2018, this started out very well at the beginning, and kind of just sputtered out somewhere in the middle of the year. I’m trying to ease myself back into quick Pilates routines and long walks in the outside air, and I’ve even started going to the gym with my dad and brother now and then. Hopefully I can keep up the momentum this time.
  • Write more blog posts: I wanted to be posting weekly. I was even doing monthly wrap up posts with updates and plans for the next month. But in 2018 I only wrote 36 blog posts, a far cry from the 70 that were posted in 2017. Going back and looking at my 2017 Best Of/Wrap Up post, it’s hard for me to not notice the enthusiasm, the sheer excitement for what I had accomplished, and what the new year might hold in store. I could say that I feel like I’ve lost that, and that I’m disheartened and cynical and don’t know how to  recapture that lost flame, but… that wouldn’t be quite true, actually . There’s a flicker of that excitement inside me now, because I can see where I’ve failed, and I can see ways to fix it. I want to lean into that, to make better goals this year, and accomplish more of them. So here we go…

My 2019 Goals:

Criteria: These goals must be inherently measurable, specific, and able to be accomplished in the next 12 months.

  • Write and revise the script for my new Super Secret Project. That’s right, I said script. And this is not the same Super Secret Sci-Fi project from last year, which is so far on the back burner that it’s basically off the stove at this point. I won’t say too much about this project, as if it works out it’s going to take a lot of time and effort to complete, but it is there and it is humming along in the background, and I do want to put some work into it this year.
  • Complete Create This Book 2 by the end of 2019. Create This Book 2 is the second art-journal-type book from Moriah Elizabeth. I discovered her stuff late last year, and her Create This Book series really caught my eye. Create This Book 2 has 100 unique prompts to inspire all kinds of artwork, which you can create right on the pages of the book. I picked the second book because it has a more manageable number of prompts, and if I complete two prompts each week I can finish the book by the end of the year! I’m hoping that this consistent art creation will help me improve my skills, and that the book’s creative prompts will challenge me to try new mediums and techniques that I would have never picked up otherwise. I’m going to try to post at least some of my artwork on my Instagram, if you’re interested. 🙂
  • Read 50 books. Yes, 50 is a step down from my goal of 70 last year, but I’m heading into the home stretch of school, and things are getting more challenging and time consuming, so with that and my many other projects, I may not have as much time to read as in previous years. I think that 50 is a rather more manageable goal for me at the moment, and it would be much better to meet and surpass a smaller goal, as I did in 2017, then to fail a larger goal.
  • Review more books, movies, and videogames. This goal may sound vague, but I don’t want to set a specific threshold for reviews. I’m planning to at least review the big Marvel films of 2019 on this blog, as always, and continue posting short book reviews on my Goodreads profile. And yes, it has been nearly two years since my last videogame review, but I recently picked up some awesome indie titles with my Christmas money, so keep your eyes peeled for those reviews sometime soon!
  • Post what I want, when I want. Whether it’s poetry, random essays, movie, music, or film reviews, awesome quotes, or what have you, I don’t want to box myself into a set once-a-week-or-more posting schedule. I think giving myself the freedom to miss a week or two without worrying about disappointing people or not meeting my goals may actually help me to post more, but of course we’ll have to see. That being said, I would like to write at least 30 posts on the blog this year. Hopefully, that’s not too much to ask of myself.

And… that’s it! It may be fewer goals than I set for myself last year, but I think that’s a good thing. I can see my way clear to completing these goals in the next 12 months, and if it all works out maybe I’ll ramp it up for 2020. Who knows! I’m just excited to be a bit more inspired than usual, and I’m hoping that concrete goals and solid plans for implementing them will go the distance that my own sheer willpower, random inspiration, and zero planning skills has gotten me in the past.

Talk to me, friend! Tell me about your goals for 2019, and your plans for implementing them. Are you as surprised as I am that it’s already 2019?? Let’s chat in the comments below!

See you again soon!

🙂

Back to the Classics Challenge 2018 (Wrap Up Post)

Phew! It’s been… a while. Back at the beginning of this year, I signed up for the Back to the Classics Challenge, hosted by Karen of Books and Chocolate, and challenged myself to read 12 classics this year! Let’s take a look at how I actually did…

  • A 19th century classic: I had planned to read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens for the 19th century classic catagory. Well, I’ve only got about five hours hours left on the audiobook, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish it before the end of the year. I’ll certainly give it a shot though!
  • A 20th century classic: I actually finished The Great Gatsby, which was pretty much guaranteed, as it was scheduled for school. It was… a weird, rather tragic experience. You can check out my Goodreads review by clicking the link above.
  • A classic by a woman author: Frankenstein was another school read, and I finished it earlier this year. Obviously, it’s so ingrained into our culture that we hear way more about people’s interpretations of this classic than about the actual classic itself. I was surprised at how different it was from the stereotypical ‘mad-scientist’ story, and there is definitely much more depth and pathos to this tale than popular culture would have you believe.
  • A classic in translation: I was so excited to reread one of my favorite books for this challenge! I really needed an excuse to read The Mysterious Island again, so this was a great opportunity to revisit the fascinating world of Jules Verne. I enjoyed it just as much as I did when I was a kid planning my own excursions to imaginary uninhabited islands.
  • A children’s classic: I had A Little Princess read to me for school a very long time ago, so I only remembered little bits and pieces of this sweet story. Sometimes it’s nice to come back to something you haven’t read in ages with fresh eyes, and that was definitely my experience here!
  • A classic crime story, fiction or non-fiction: Last year I was really into Dorothy Sayer’s Lord Peter Whimsy mystery stories, and earlier this year I read Strong Poison for this challenge. I definitely meant to continue on with this series, but somewhere along the way those intentions got sidetracked… :/
  • A classic travel or journey narrative, fiction or non-fiction: I was almost going to put down that I hadn’t read something in this category, as my plan to read The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain fell through, but then I remembered that I did read the very humorous and entertaining Three Men In A Boat while on my trip to England. It’s so hard to believe that happened this year! It feels like ages ago.
  • A classic with a single word title: I’d gotten almost half way through Christy and was really enjoying it… before I got sidetracked by other things. I definitely would like to finish it at some point, but I don’t think that will be before the end of the year, as there’s still a lot left.
  • A classic with a color in the title: I’d completely forgotten until now, but I did actually reread The Little White Horse earlier this year! As you might be able to tell, I was doing a lot better on this challenge earlier on in 2018, but as the year has gone on I’ve been swamped by work and procrastination and other books I’m reading, and unfortunately I wasn’t able to read all the books I wanted to.
  • A classic by an author that’s new to you: Until recently I never heard the title of Jane Eyre said aloud, and I always thought that her last name was pronounced  like ‘Eye-ree’ instead of ‘Air’. Oh well. Anyway, this was another classic I went into with some preconceived notions, and which on the whole turned out to be much deeper and more interesting than I expected. The character of Jane Eyre is also extremely well written, to the point that while reading the book I felt like I was reading a real person’s diary instead of a novel.
  • A classic that scares you: Frankenstien could have easily gone in this category, but it wasn’t actually that scary, so for this category I read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which didn’t turn out to be that scary either. Just… weird.
  • Re-read a favorite classic: I got to reread a few favorite classics for this challenge, and this was a golden opportunity to revisit my favorite L. M. Montgomery series, Emily of New Moon! I ended up rereading the whole series because it’s just soooo good! Dean Priest is definitely way creepier than I remembered though… 😅

And… that’s about it! Out of twelve categories, I completed ten, which means I get two entries into the drawing (yes, there’s a drawing for a Book Depository gift card if you complete at least half of the challenge!) Honestly, that’s way more than I thought I’d completed, as I forgot about a bunch of the books I read earlier this year. Still… I wish I could have finished all the books I wanted to. Hopefully I’ll be able to complete them soon, even if it isn’t in time for the challenge.


Hey, thanks for reading my Back to the Classics wrap up post! I know, I know, it’s been a while since I posted on the old blog, or even thought about this challenge for that matter. But I’m trying to get better at finishing what I started (ironic as that may sound when I’ve been unable to finish several of the books I was supposed to read for this challenge!) Anyway, as I’ve said many times, I really want to post more on here, so hopefully I’ll see you again soon! Thanks for sticking around.

🙂


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Wednesday With Words: Barometers of Society

I haven’t been reading a lot besides school books recently, but today’s quote is from a school book that I’m really enjoying. Total Truth by Nancy Pearcy is an absolutely wonderful, thorough look at how to build a complete Christian worldview and incorporate it into your entire life—not just on Sundays. She also has a lot to say about the arts and worldviews in media, and as someone who reviews movies, TV shows, and other media every so often, this quote really caught my eye. I thought I’d share it with you all today.

Nancy Pearcy


Thanks for reading today’s Wednesday with Words! I know I’ve been saying this a lot, but I want to continue posting on this blog, even if it doesn’t end up being super consistent. To everyone who’s still reading, thank you. I know I haven’t been around a lot, but thanks for sticking with me.

See you again soon!

🙂

Music Review: Trench by Twenty Øne Piløts

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It’s finally here…


Trench, the highly anticipated fifth album from musical duo Twenty Øne Piløts, was finally released to the public at 12:00 AM on October 5th, 2018. Despite the entire album being leaked by a fan just days before, Trench currently sits on top of charts all over the globe. I have to admit, I was a little bit apprehensive about this one. While the band’s previous hit LP Blurryface was in fact a concept album, you could listen to it and understand most of it without having to dig into the background ‘lore’ surrounding the Blurryface character. However, Trench, before its release, was shown to be even more concept heavy, with some of the singles, especially ‘Nico and the Niners’, rendered almost unintelligible unless you knew all of the background info. While the idea of a concept album sounds super cool, in practice I doubted that it would work well, either from a commercial or an artistic standpoint. Whatever meaning the album’s first three singles had was tied up tightly in a bundle of metaphors and lore, and remained totally obscure to many listeners.

I was delighted to find on listening to the album as a whole that, while you can interpret it through the lens of the concept, the majority of the songs stand on their own as gorgeous pieces of lyrical and musical art. Trench has a slower, heavier feel to it than previous albums, and while every song sounds totally different, they all act as a cohesive unit and bring a unique feel to the album as a whole. It is interesting to see how singer/pianist/bassist/ukulele player/songwriter Tyler Joseph writes from a place of worldwide fame. In fact, one of the major themes of this album is the immense pressure Tyler feels from becoming so famous, mostly pressure from his fans, the Skeleton Clique. This album seems to have been written very much with the Clique in mind, and the marketing for Trench has been very much structured around pandering to them as well. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I do think it could isolate a lot of potential new listeners, and I certainly hope that this kind of pandering doesn’t become a feature of any future Tøp music.

As with all of Tøp’s records, Trench is multilayered and extremely complex. There are multiple different lenses through which you can view the songs and lyrics, and each song has at least two interpretations, depending on whether you’re listening for the Dema storyline or for Tyler’s own internal struggle, which are inextricably intertwined throughout the entire album. I could do a whole series of posts exploring in depth what each song means, but for now I’ll just do a quick look at the two heaviest, most hard-hitting songs off the album (why do I do this to myself???), and leave the rest to the lyric theorists out there.

‘Neon Gravestones’ is a piano ballad featuring Tyler’s signature poetic rap verses. Tyler uses this song to address several heavy issues, but a major theme is the fact that even though he supposedly ‘has everything’ (fame, fortune, a loving family and fanbase) he is still fighting with depression and suicidal thoughts. But he also uses the song to address the people who get the wrong impression from Twenty One Pilots’ music. Since their very first album, and even before, when Tyler was just writing and recording songs by himself, mental health and the struggle against mental illness has been a huge part of Twenty One Pilots’ lyrics and message. Some people have taken the songs out of context, or twisted the messages in them, to claim that the band glorifies or even encourages suicide and depression, which is simply not the case. Tyler digs deep into that issue in this song, and completely refutes it. It’s an extremely powerful message, and Tyler delivers it perfectly.

For some more in depth explanations, check out:

‘Leave The City’ is the final song on Trench. As with all Tøp albums, the final song is a bittersweet farewell, with this one leaning much more bitter than sweet. It’s extremely easy to look at this song as the band telling us they’re breaking up, and that’s what I thought at first. But Tyler himself has admitted that this is a song about struggling with, and loosing, faith. This is not new territory for Tyler’s songwriting. In the first song off Twenty One Pilots’ first album, an emotional piece called “Implicit Demand for Proof”,  Tyler wrestles with God and with his faith, trying to reconcile it with his depression, asking God if he will “rain down and destroy” him. It seems that Twenty One Pilots’ newfound fame has resonated through every part of Tyler’s life, including his faith, and right now he is struggling. He hasn’t lost hope, he hasn’t given up on believing in God, but he is definitely wrestling with doubt.

If you’re interested in hearing what Tyler himself has to say about this difficult song, please check out this interview from Alternative Press.


There is so much more I could say about Trench, but it would take far too long. I am definitely pleased with the album. It broke my expectations, but in a wonderful way. Twenty One Pilots may have swapped out their reggae influences for a more chill vibe, but at the core they’re still the same musical duo, and I can’t wait to see where their music takes them next.


Final Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

“You know I had to do it.”


Thank you so much for reading this (late) review! I’ve been struggling with being consistent and intentional on social media recently, especially with blogging and reading /responding to other people’s blogs, and I’m definitely going to try to pick that up again and make it part of my life. I just need to sit down and make the time.

See you again soon!

🙂

Wednesday With Words: Boots for Birds

I am still gradually working my way through a massive brick-like book containing all of Emily Dickinson’s 1,700+ poems, and while they are all beautiful and very expressive, every once in a while I’ll come across one that really catches my eye. This particular selection has been languishing in my commonplace book for a while now, and I thought I’d finally get around to posting it today. It’s not super profound or thought provoking; it’s just an interesting little word picture that made me smile.

Boots for Birds


On my reading list this week:


Thanks for reading this week’s Wednesday with Words! Are you reading anything interesting this week? Have any book recommendations? Let’s chat in the comments!

See you again soon.

🙂

Wednesday With Words: Innovation

I’m not exactly sure where I first heard of the book, but Real Artists Don’t Starve by Jeff Goins has been on my ‘to read’ list on Goodreads for over a year now. It’s only recently that I actually got a copy from the library and started reading it, but that seems like perfect timing, considering that I’ve been questioning whether or not I can actually look at my creative work as a viable option for making money someday, or if I need to scrap that and look for a different career. So far, the book is mostly about cultivating the creative mindset of a Thriving Artist, instead of wallowing in the self pity of a starving one. One of the things the Starving Artist worries about is being ‘original’, and Goins has devoted an entire chapter of the book to talking about how we as creators must learn to borrow from other creators and rearrange all the creative works that have come before us into something ‘new’. After all, there’s nothing really new under the sun, is there? (Apparently not, because a quote from Mary Shelley I shared earlier this year talked about this idea as well!)

Innovation


On my reading list this week:

  •  Pat of Silver Bush by L. M. Montgomery: This was on my Grandma’s bookshelf when I visited her recently, and she said I could borrow it! I love many of L. M. Montgomery’s books, so I’m always excited to find a new one I haven’t yet read.
  • Christy by Catherine Marshall: I’m supposed to be reading this for the Back to the Classics Challenge. Unfortunately, I’ve fallen a bit behind, and it’s quite a large book! Hopefully I’ll be able to finish it up before the end of the year.

Thanks so much for reading this week’s Wednesday with Words post! I know it’s been approximately 5,000 years since I’ve done one of these, but I’d love to get back in the habit. No promises, though! 😛

See you again soon!

🙂

Vicious Cycles: A Short Essay on Willful Self-Sabotage

Maybe you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the past few weeks. Maybe you don’t actually care. Either way, I made a goal at the start of the year to write at least one blog post every week, to finally get back into the swing of things and start creating consistently again. Obviously, that didn’t happen. And it’s completely my fault.

This year started off well enough. I was blogging pretty consistently. I was doing pretty well mentally. I thought maybe I’d begun to shake some stuff and get back into the creative lane I’d been riding in 2017. I was exercising every day. I had the will power and the energy to tell myself what I needed to do and get it done. But that didn’t last. It started with staying up a little later to finish a post or get a few more words down. It ended with a garbage fire.

Somewhere along the way, I got tired. Physically, emotionally, mentally. It became easier and easier to watch YouTube instead of pounding out another blog post, easier to scroll through Instagram instead of working on a new book. As my energy levels flagged, I began to take the path of least resistance, the path that didn’t require thought or careful word choice or energy besides the minuscule amount required to thumb through my Twitter feed. It became easier to keep the lights on late rather than lie in bed and wrestle with insomnia. It became easier to say that I’d do it tomorrow, when I was less tired, and easier to wake up even tireder than I’d been the day before. It was easier to not try to fix it or do anything about it. It was easier to promise big things later, and sabotage myself now.

I came to with a shovel in my hands and dirt piled high behind me. I was digging myself into a rut, further and further in, further and further down. Consciously. Knowingly. Willfully. I knew (and I know) exactly how to dig myself out of that hole, but by this point it had become a vicious cycle, and it was easier to keep on digging myself deeper into that rut than to try and clamber out. I had already dug a grave for my creativity. It was easier to bury it than to try for resurrection.

But I know what I need to do, and I think maybe I can do it. It sounds easy; just put the phone down and turn off the lights and rest, but somehow it’s really, really hard. It’s hard to make things. Its hard to want to make things when you’re so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open. It’s hard to want to go to bed when it’s become so much easier to just not. But I think maybe it’s better to struggle against the cycle than to live your life with a need to make things and no ability to do so.


Vicious Cycles